When the silence hurts more than the trauma

A conversation with Denise on community fallout, the body, and survival

Some stories are not just about what happened.

They are about what followed.

In this episode of The Cocoon Podcast, I sit with Denise, a meditation guide, energy healer, and somatic practitioner, as she shares her experience of trauma, community fallout, and the long shadow it cast over her body and life.

Denise speaks with honesty about something we do not talk about enough. Not just the violence itself, but the isolation that comes after. The disbelief. The quiet abandonment by friends, systems, and communities that were meant to protect us.

She describes the aftermath as necrosis. A slow dying inside the body and psyche. Watching life from the outside while everything familiar dissolves. Her words are confronting, but they are also deeply validating for anyone who has lived through the loss of community after trauma.

One of the most painful parts of Denise's story is how her friends chose her assailant over her. Long standing friendships disappeared almost overnight. People she had known for years sided with him, questioned her boundaries, or asked her to keep making space for someone who harmed her. In trying to stay connected, Denise abandoned herself, pushing through what her body and nervous system were desperately trying to signal.

Eventually, the body spoke louder.

Denise shares how the trauma that was never discharged became trapped in her system, leading to severe chronic pelvic pain and long term physiological symptoms. Doctors could not find a cause. Tests came back inconclusive. The medical system could manage symptoms, but it could not heal the root. Her body was holding what the world refused to.

This is something we see again and again. Trauma that is not processed does not disappear. It settles into the nervous system. It leaves fingerprints on the body. Denise still feels those imprints years later. In her neck. In her breath. In moments of closeness, even with her own child.

And yet, there is also wisdom here.

Denise speaks about boundaries, about the moment she chose herself even when it meant losing everything. About walking away from friendships that required her silence. About understanding, over time, that rejection can be universal protection. That when people leave, they may be creating space for relationships that are safer, more aligned, and more capable of holding the truth.

This conversation also holds nuance. Denise does not vilify those who could not stand with her. She recognises how fear, convenience, and self-preservation shape people's choices. She acknowledges that not everyone has the capacity to look at harm and respond with courage. But she also makes it clear that survivors should not have to shrink themselves to make others comfortable.

What stayed with me most was Denise's clarity. Her ability to name the cost of staying silent. Her compassion for herself now, even when her body still remembers. Her understanding that healing is not about erasing the past, but about learning to live safely inside yourself again.

If you have experienced community fallout after trauma, please know this.

You are not imagining it.

You are not overreacting.

And you are not alone.

Your body adapted to survive something unbearable.

Your boundaries are not cruelty.

They are care.

Please listen to this episode gently. Pause when you need to. Come back when it feels right. Denise's story is powerful, and it deserves to be held with respect.

Ruby